iits to paiinful for me

to be iin the same school again

Same faces

Old memoriies

Shattered Hopes


iits the new year

more scars to be made.

boo-hoo

ii am bleediing with these fresh new scars

you liike? :3

why don't you just go ahead

pour some salt in these freshly made wounds

and complete your satisfaction to the limit



Adults ?

They thiink what they do and say iis always right

They never let me Speak out for what i was right and wrong

They misjudge our feeling and actions

They always think that its never that complicated but simple

They Think that disbandiing us from a little bit of freedom will do me good

no computer; stress
- well? here i am typing on the net._.
- cyber

No handphone; What The F8CK?
- well? i'm busy texting my ♥ and Frenz
- i have plenty of them

Not allowed to go out , EVER; WHAT THE FIIIIIISHHHH!!!!?
- This i am screwed
- no socializing with friends
- no fresh air

No TV; iim ok with that ._.''


The only thing i was approved for was
beiing surrounded by books
i think when i die there will be no difference

because i'm already living in hell
Life , its like a home. Its dragging me down.




Nothiing's gonna stop me from having my part of freedom
ii need space
ii need my air
ii need somewhere dark and cold where i can roam

At niight, every 1am.
i sneak out of the house and take a 20 minutes walk wiith my lads and groups
Wiith a hoodie, short and sneakers on.
I take a deep breath and Chiilax

They weren't lowlife rats
They were people like me, someone who want to do what they may
They were people That loved the air of freedom
They were people That always guarded each others backs and respected each other
They were people that understoon someone like me.
They were people that had went through many bloodshed and pain together with me
They were people that stuck with me just like f.a.m.i.l.y
They were people that pretended to be someone else for their parents approval
They were people like me; trying to escape from that part of life

They were people i belong wiith.
- we enjoy the limited freedom that we grasp
- we enjoy the time we chiilax and talked
- we enjoy the dark vast sky that marks our freedom




ii remembered,
one niight it wasn't gatheriing night
ii had famiily/relationships/Friendship problems
i went out 1am i walked on and on..
iit was my biirthday
boohoo.. what a day
with my hoodie on.
my viision was blur
my hearing so weak
my breathing so heavy

yes; ii was finally sick
siick of all this commotion
siick of this heartbreak
siick of these lies
siick of my liife


i stumbled along the road weak and emotionless
ii was so blur
as ii turned i saw two briight lights
heaven? come to take me away?
no, iit stopped. it isn't my time yet?
when will my blood be shed?
when will my heart stop?
workiing this hard for liife?.
whille in return i get so many crap and shits

ii breathed in the air and breathed it out
i place my hand at the sky and grasped for it
Freedom?..
When?...
i want it
Desperately
it was 4am
i started walkiing along the park..
my viision was blur. .
i didn't know what happened
two fiigures walk past by me- electrifying pain whizzed through me
sinister laughters as they walked away

i scrambled up to my feet, managed my whole way to the park
and sat my self on the pavement. and stared up
my hands placed on my waist
i lifted them up to see red colour liquid

such a nice dark colour
yet salty metallic smell

ii started getting cold
my liips got purple.
i placed my fingers and traced my wound.
low lifed rats..
such freedom?. jealousy overcomes me
Yet another scar on my body
how many is it already?..

such warm liquid flowing out
shyt, staining my hoodie ..

i smiled to myself and stared up.
with the other hand
ii reached into my pocket for my cell phone
unlocked it, finding so many biirthday messages.
What do they know bout my liife?
Nothiing. . .

ii lied there till i passed out for an hour or so
once i recovered my self
i managed myself back home.
and just wrapped my body in bandages and slowly took its time to heal